Confessions and reflections

Image source:  Esposas de Matrimonio Last time when I wrote about our obsession with fairer a.k.a white skin and how that is racism . A friend pointed out that this extends to marriage as well. That is, our obsession, among a list of other things, extends to marriage too. Thus, it got me thinking about the pressures that we have to face to get married, the before and after of it all. It starts at home and then goes on with relatives, friends and everyone else around us.    Marriage is the milestone for most girls right after graduation so that she does not become too old to find an appropriate match , or bear children. It is also because hopefully, she will not have met someone and decided for herself whom to marry. The ‘gods’ forbid, she is 'senseless' enough to select someone outside of her community! What a shame! Boys often face the pressure of marriage as soon as they get their first job. Now that their market value is established. Especially, if he has a

Lying is wrong. That's what we tell them of course. But let's be honest, all parents lie to their kids at some point or another. Whether you lie to protect your child's innocence, to get your kids to do something or to get a little "me time", you're just trying to make parenthood a little easier. And we've all done it. We asked some of our favorite parenting bloggers what white lies they tell their kids - and we must say, they're pretty darn funny! 1.   Yes, Daddy loves building blocks- wake him up first!  If you're anything like me, waking up at the crack of dawn isn't your idea of fun.  All girls need their beauty sleep! 2. Mummy and Daddy are not having an argument, they are just having a disagreement Do you know the saying, "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck?" 3.   The ice cream man tinkling his bell means he’s sold out  For most parents, there's no way of getting out of

Toddlers may be young and small too, but that doesn't mean they haven't learned how to manipulate us intelligent adults into getting exactly what they want! From the minute my little guy started talking, I quickly picked up on a few tricks he had for trying to persuade me into doing whatever it is he had in mind. Besides clinging to our inflated calf muscles to get out of going to preschool or day care, here are some popular toddler phrases and their deciphered meanings. 1. "No, no, Mommy.  Me not tired."  I'm totally knackered, but I know that I'll miss all of the fun that goes on after you put me to bed.   2. "Pleeeeeeaaasssssseeeee Mommmmmmy!?!" If I repeat this over and over and over again and drag out every syllable even further every time I say it, she'll totally cave. What a strategy! 3. "I want Papa! No! I want Papa!" I absolutely and totally detest whatever it is you're telling me to do, so I'm g

  Video source: My Choice                                                            Video source: My Choice - Male Version Considering that both these videos are now going viral, I could not stop myself from commenting. The videos are above in case you may not have viewed one or the other or both. Gender equity and equality does not mean pitching one gender against another and invisibilising other gender identities that don't fit in this norm. However, what I wonder is why the furor or the necessity to counter what women say especially when they want to make a choice, or claim their rights. Why the inherent need to question their intent, or their existence or blame them for their clothes if they face sexual harassment or have been raped? Why ask her to keep experiences of harassment, abuse and violence under cover… for family honour? Who carries on the family name, while she apparently tarnishes it by being 'loose', having been 'violated'? Who is

So the inevitable happened:   I became a mother. And went through all the motions mentioned in ' Time to face the music '. I was experiencing motherhood in projectile vomit and runny bottoms on freshly cleaned floors. And I was the latest victim of Murphy’s Law — you know, the old adage that states if something can go wrong, it will go wrong. Usually it involves discovering we ’ ve got a flat tyre and an irate boss making hissing sounds together! It only happens once in a while. Well, not when you have a newborn. When you have a newborn, it happens ALL. THE. TIME, and it goes a little something like this: 1. Your husband says babysitting is fun and the kid’s has been an absolute darling — for  him.  But as soon as you get home from frantically finishing chores and trying not to fall asleep at traffic lights, baby starts to scream bloody murder as horror scenes from Ramsay Brother flick flash through your mind. Moms are just so lucky! 2. 3 seconds after you’v

You know what is adorable and so  so  cute? You  –  when you ’ re pregnant and think you actually control how things go in the delivery room. Oh, don ’ t feel so let down; most new mommies think they can prescribe how the birthing process goes. I was one of them too.   If you’re like me you’ve researched the procedure ad nauseam and are such an expert on the process that you’re pretty sure you don’t even need your  gynecologist  present. All these pregnancy books and sites have these great templates to serve up a made to order delivery.  Soothing music, no epidural, no shrieks and definitely no long hours. You hand over your selection to the maître de and then in just a little while, your perfect and smiling angel is placed in your arms. They present the bill to you on a silver platter and you go home with your leftover, namely the child in this case.           I knew EXACTLY how my baby was going to be brought into the world and designed my own birth plan accordin